And they discover they're fucked.

"I know it sounds bizarre, but I was pretty proud of my ability to keep up with Microsoft patches. It's like you are a macho geek if you can keep up with all this stuff," Gerome said. "But now I'm starting to wonder whether catching all the fixes that Microsoft releases is beyond any mere mortal's power."

Actually a really good photo exhibit of "normal" people photographed doing one of 11 drugs. Read the captions, look at the photos ... how are you?

Why Worms Like Code Red Are Good For You

In the vast world of potential Internet viruses and worms, Code Red is a grade Z microbe. It would have to go through a significant amount of mutation before it became any sort of serious threat to the Internet's health. So watching the FBI and Microsoft put on their most serious face at Monday's press conference was like a scene from some diabolical 50's sci-fi movie: Attack of the Killer 0.5 in. Ants.

For Microsoft, this was the kind of publicity you just can't buy. Not only did Redmond get to share a dais with the Justice Department ? which is rather like Stalin vowing eternal friendship with Roosevelt to counter the Nazi menace ? but they also had their name inextricably linked with the well-being of the Internet itself.